What is your opinion?
One is no longer one's husbands "goods and chattels",your belongings remain your own after marriage unlike before.
But still people expect it...some, like the Pirate have been brought up this way.
Others think if you don't change your name to his it shows a lack of commitment...and it is always in that direction!
Some men who have taken their wife's surname have been treated awkwardly by employers or family.
Ah well, if I do end up changing my surname on paper, I'll still have my own name professionally and in business. Opening accounts with paypal and etsy was painful enough as it was , without changing anything..
Some documents you get charged for changing name too...
I didn't expect this sort of minefield...families, who'd 'ave 'em!!?
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11 comments:
I think it's entirely up to you (and Pirate)--
whatever you decide, people might fuss for a while but they'll get used to it, right?
(Just so long as you don't have to mess with your PayPal account. Don't mess with PayPal! Speaking as a fellow user. :)
I've been surprised how tenacious this tradition of the woman taking the man's name is. I'd thought it would die out, but in the United States it's still the norm.
(Couples here often get married partly because you get health insurance and other legal/financial benefits through a married partner--different in places with socialized medicine?
Funny how these things that seem to be about love are, at root, often tied up with money... Like PayPal. *big smile*)
Taking your husband's name is a very British thing. In Italy a wife usually keeps her original name. Notifying dozens of friends and organisations that you've changed your name must be a pain in the neck, and totally unnecessary. My wife of 23 years has always kept her own name.
I changed mine purely as I did not like my original surname. Under different circumstances I would probably have kept my name especially now as I have it as my business name - as do you x
I changed my name when I remarried - we both wanted it. I have had no problem with most companies but as Fresca mentioned Paypal is another matter. I am no longer able to use it as my visa card is now in my new name and they won't change it without photo id in my new name which I don't yet have.......
Good luck with whatever you choose.
It does appear, sadly, to be a minefield. As a male couple neither of us considered changing our names either for our civil partnership, or when we converted that to marriage nearly a decade later. I girlfriend I had at university chose not to change her name and the only person it seems to have confused was the postman. My sister, having changed her name for her first marriage, and changed it back on divorce, then caved in and changed it on her second marriage too. (And she did it for both private and professional use, both times.) My dentist chose to keep her name, but then I discovered that her husband's name is Gubbins so you can see why she might make that choice.
Of course you will always be Mr & Mrs Pirate.
Or, take it socially, but never change it legally or professionally.
I'm so rarely ever called by my last name, it almost doesn't matter that I did change it. After 7 years together, after the final break with my original family. It helped me be sure the ex (whose name I never considered taking) wouldn't find me, too.
As for both having the same last name, it's occasionally nice, but mostly doesn't matter. An easier to spell name is functional, in my case.
Let anyone in your family that want to call you Mrs. Pirate (which is odd that family wouldn't just call you by your first name...) they don't need to see the legal name change papers... wait, this is all getting a bit odd.
Don't let them tie you in knots, do what you want. If I was being pushed to change my name at my age? Heh. No. And I wouldn't even bother to explain.
Personally I'd say change names if you don't like your existing name. Otherwise, stick with the one you've got. It is such a hassle to have to keep updating names on your bank acounts etc. in these days of money laundering precautions! But of course names are also very emotive... so.... !!
I hyphenated my last name with Proge’s dad’s because it was easier when dealing with schools, docs and all. I never changed it profeccionally and dropped the hyphen when Proge finished school and moved away. When we divorced I made sure it was in the decree that I was legally my maiden name. There were still a few hurdles, but it wasn’t too awful.
I think the decision to change your name is entirely personal and should be what you are comfortable with.
As you will know, in Wales they didn't use surnames until about 1600 - it was first names only and everyone was everyone was described as son of or daughter of - not sure if that applied to 'spouse of' too.
I had a woman from Iceland explain their naming conventions. If you want to get reallllly complicated...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Icelandic_name
I grew up in Spain, where no woman ever changes her name to her husband's, so on moving to the UK I found it quite old fashioned that women would do this!
I think entirely your decision, as others have said, though certainly it would be a right hassle to change name in a professional capacity.
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