thinking and hoping

Thyme...or Time.

Anniversaries rushing in, making one sit and think.   It feels like yesterday, but also like ten years.
Yesterday a year ago, My Man chose to go into hospital.   At least it was a positive decision that he made himself.    It was funny peculiar weather then too.

I worked all day by myself in the workshop near Abergavenny, going in for breaks and cuppas!

I worked in silence apart from the quiet running of the kick wheel as I turned then handled mugs.   The blackbirds were shouting loudly outside, so I knew that the rain tapping on the roof was only showers, until mid-afternoon when they fell quiet..and the rain fell steadily.

I've mislaid...probably lost....my drawing book.....two and a half year's work.

Perhaps it is a sign of new beginnings, as there are some shoots of hope peeking through.
     I've just opened a new drawing book......

New techniques are certainly a challenge. 

I must "go with the flow" more and stop trying too hard in everything I do.
When you relax and get on with it life is much better.  It scares other people less too!!

The rain has eased off a little this morning, but everything is exceedingly wet and I can only just see the wooded slopes of Cefn Rhyswg from my window.

Time to drink the rest of my coffee then go out to my workshop.
There are jars that need turning and knobs and handles....perhaps a dragon or two...
I've had an idea for a one-person  teapot shape, not made one in years .
There is also a lantern shelter to be made from Crank clay....the idea is nearly there.

I can sit and work and think and hope....and smile.

Rhyswg walk

After this morning's kiln unpacking I cleaned and tidied while it rained outside.
By midday the weather was lifting and I'd had enough!!
The last scraggy bits of cloud were lifting from the top as I left the highest houses in the village





Stone ridges set across the old road, now a path, to divert rainwater and keep the surface from being washed away in heavy rain.

It climbs steadily , then the trees open out and you can see up the side valley, Cwm fapi, known as "the lappy" . They have begun, this year, harvesting trees planted by my Man and others, in his first job when he left school. Hard, cold work.

After the halfway breather on the fire road, up and up and up again.







The bracken is taking the path over now, without someone walking up and down every day.
Flat at last! The pony stallions shelter along this stretch, you can see how their hooves have cut up the sward.


up again, to the top of the old road by Ysgubor Ton (Meadow Barn)



Then along the old parish road and out along the mountain to the tree that you can see from nearly every part of the Mountain Common



As I arrived the clouds parted to reveal the sun!

Then I sat and had lunch, by Col's Tree. Finding peace and tranquility and companionship in spirit.

Col's Garden

Since I left it to be looked after by Col's family, his brother has been doing a little weeding. All praise to him, he is an engineer not a gardener.

I think they insisted on caring for it until the end of the season, so that I would not be on it.
This actually coincided with my decision that the tradition of the late gardener's partner being able to care for the plot until the end of the season was good- but not when I have a garden of my own and he had three...so I had expected them to be re-allocated.

I thought that looking after his garden would be therapeutic for them as it was for me. Unfortunately the rasberry, strawberry and currant crops have gone to the birds and the gooseberry, apple, plum and grape look to be going the same way.

Spinach, leeks and brassicas are going to seed, the runner beans are starting to be ready. There is blight on the potato plants.

I think that I am supposed to react and get upset.
It is just so sad,thinking of all the work we both put in over the past three years, and Col alone for the years previous. Thinking of all the people that Col would give the food and flowers to, the local retirement flats, the pub and the church.

Col

When he decided he was a little overweight! 2008
In the polytunnel. 2009

Col and Buster, looking over Cwmbran
Looking down over Cwm Lickey
Coming up from Penyrheol
Choosing the hard route, as ever. Going up Twmbarlwm
The day we took Buster home in 2011.
He couldn't hide being ill any more, with extra layers of clothing
Strong hands, caring hands, hands to make you feel safe, even at the end.

Colin Thomas Lloyd
03.12.1946
20.05.2011

My lovely, caring man, my other half.