Monday 8 April 2024

We are still here

 I discovered yesterday that Avus is no longer with us in blogland or real life.

Sad. I miss his blog, and his daughter used to do a picture a day blog from Australia...I miss that too.

Pirate isn't too good at the moment. Reality is sinking in and he isn't a happy bunny.  He has had a life if being put down and his efforts belittled..now he is worried about being a nuisance and no good for anything.

He is doing marvellous things, encouraging people on the phone if not in person. He has just had a FB. Video call from a good friend north of Brisbane..you don't get that without being worth it.

I am doing my best to keep ordinary things going. And Fife friend will be back over again late this afternoon to help him and give me a hand too.

Like Pirate, he lost a brother at this time of year, so he finds it hard. Unfortunately he has been brought up not to show it.

27 comments:

Tom said...

...men haven't always been raised in the best ways.

Barbara Rogers said...

So glad that you all are still there. So many bloggers have left us. I watched a movie about camper wanderers (Nomads with Frances McDormand as star) and was tearful remembering my blog friend John Kim who traveled with his cat and blogged. I'm friends with others who are working out their end of life details. And I've written my last blog which will appear if I don't keep updating it into the future. Does that sound macabre? I think embracing this end of things and then letting go of them is kind of healthy...though not always easy. We all continue to live through the memories of those who love us.

Catalyst said...

I just read on Steve's blog about Storm Kathleen battering Scotland. I hope you got through it okay. Emotions during the recovery process from a surgery can fluctuate up and down. Sometimes tender caring helps, other times a kick in the bum is in order. I trust your choices implicitly but tell him it takes time and effort. And that I'm one of his fans.

JayCee said...

I suppose this horrible weather doesn't help lighten the mood either.

jabblog said...

Poor man - it's hard to be positive when everything seems to be against you.

Bovey Belle said...

Sorry to hear that Pirate is down in the dumps. I think surgery makes us all feel rather mortal and if his life has included those negative elements anyway, I guess they surface quickly when you are down. How wonderful for him to have a phone call from a friend on the other side of the world.

Keith is currently advising me how to mend a broken rocking chair - "Take photos" and it seems I knew what to do, just have to get my a*se in gear . . .

Hope your double polytunnel is really productive this year. If you can find Smith and Barker heavy duty tent pegs, they look set to survive a hurricane!

gz said...

BB I think that it may be more than down in the dumps..even now we have rehydrated him, it looks very much like dementia

Tasker Dunham said...

It may be depression. It's a bugger when you have bouts of feeling helpless. I've had similar days. Hope he can call on some of his cyclist's endurance.

Susan Heather said...

I am so sorry to hear Pirate is feeling "low" especially if it is dementia. Both sending good vibes to him.

Susan said...

A major surgery is hard on the body and mind for everyone. In the US there is a milk shake sold in grocery stores/pharmacies called "Ensure." It is filled with vital proteins and vitamins and used to facilitate recovering from illness or surgery. I am thinking of you and Pirate and hope this is just a temporary setback.

The bike shed said...

Quite a number of blogging friends have passed on - always so sad. I have been away from my keyboard for too long - sorry to hear your news. Surgery takes time to get over and can result in both depression and delirium like symptoms that seem like dementia at first - my wife's father certainly had that but came through.

angela said...

I’m so sorry pirate has had such a hard time.
He has you now and I’m sure that is a huge blessing to him.
I’m glad your still here. And your getting help
Sending hugs from oz

Joanne Noragon said...

I am so sorry to hear it is going hard for Pirate.

Red said...

the care giver faces a huge challenge to look after someone.

Marjorie said...

Has he been checked for a UTI. It wreaks havoc with older people. It is tough after surgery when you have been raised to believe you have no worth. Hugs.

Debby said...

You know, sometimes you write things that shock me. This one did. I, too, am married to a man who had been belittled for most of his life. That doesn't go away, does it?

gz said...

Marjorie yes, he has had antibiotics, and they have worked.

Susan we know Ensure..and he used to use it during long distance events. Unfortunately this doesn't seem to be available now..but other makes are.

Steve Reed said...

My stepmother has been going through periods of forgetfulness and having problems managing her life (she's about 80) and my stepsister said she believes it's depression-related. Which is all to say that maybe Pirate's situation is similar. I have no doubt recovering from surgery is taking a lot out of him and he couldn't help but be depressed. Perhaps as he gets stronger and more accustomed to the new reality he'll come back to himself more. In any case, I'm thinking of you both.

Amy said...

Yes we were taught to be strong when we were young, I remember it well. He probably doesn't want to worry you or anyone else.

Fresca said...

Pirate is worthy!!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Allison said...

I am so sorry to read that Pirate is poorly. Here's hoping for better days.

Granny Sue said...

Sending my caring thoughts your way. The older we get, the more difficult the path we must tree.

Elderberry-Rob said...

Im so sorry to read that your Pirate is going through such a low period and, of course, that you are feeling it too. It's a period of your lives where, if you can, losing that focus on what happens tomorrow and beyond and just living in the moment and finding something good in each day is easier on the mind and spirit than looking ahead. Sending cyber hugs to you - Betty x

megan blogs said...

Thinking of you. It's hard to see people we care about hurting, and our best efforts don't seem to matter.

gz said...

Steve, and all, Pirate is failing much faster than expected.

Fresca said...

Sending love…

Bovey Belle said...

gz - I am so sorry to read this. It truly is NOT an outcome you(or anyone) wants. Sending (((HUGS))).